East Side Hawks

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Official logo of the East Side Hawks
Home strip (s19)
Away/clash strip (s19)
'The Hash' strip (s19)
East Side Hawks
Full name East Side Hawks Qootball Club
Nickname(s) The Hawks
Club details
Founded Season 06
Colours Green and Yellow
Competition Sweet F.A.
Captain(s) Agent93
Premierships Season 12
Ground(s) The Eyrie

The Club[edit]

The East Side Hawks are in the midst of their 12th SFA season and chasing their second SFA premiership. Led by league behemoth Itsmyshow, East Side have a remarkably strong foundation in the league, with the club having brought home 3 Mobbenfuhrer Medals (2 to club legend larrikin and 1 to SFA Immortal boncer34). Two-time AlfAndrews Medallist Tarkyn_24 plays at full forward for the club, whilst the rest of the leadership group comprises of Dagless, Mr Eagle and Karnezis_13. More than 50% of the TFLUA-Tiger Medallists in history won the award at the East Side Hawks, further confirming their league dominance.

Season 17 is set to bring home the Hawks second premiership, as a mammoth recruiting scheme brought in EKA contender GutsyBug, forwardline sensation Rendered Unsafe and ex-league legend Wally among others.


East Side officially wears green (PMS 357C), and yellow (116C). The club previously wore blue (2756C) instead of green in its early years, but eventually changed over to ensure a unique identity in the league. Blue remains a recognised heritage colour of the club.

Club song[edit]

We're a happy team at East Side

We're the mighty fighting Hawks

We play the grand old game that's simmed

Riding the bumps with a grin (behind our keyboards)

Come what may you'll find us typing

Bantering until the siren goes

One for all and all for one's the way we play at East Side

We are the mighty fighting Hawks!

Season by Season History[edit]

Seasons 01-05 ~ East Side in their Pre-SFA Days[edit]

Seasons 01-04 were spent in no Qooty league for the East Side Hawks, as they tried their hand at a range of sports ranging from lawn bowls to base jumping. Experiencing limited success in all, by the time Season 05 came around the Hawks fraternity agreed it was time to try out this 'Qooty'. Accepted into the Districts FL, their debut season was played with just two players, F/D and Wally, occupying all 18 positions whilst the remainder of the team sat in the changerooms and consumed chudshakes stolen from Brunswick. For this reason, the Hawks finished the season in 5th position, but due to some flattery of Sweet FA bigwigs, the club was accepted into the big league for Season 06. The rest is history, as the East Side dynasty continues to this day.

Season 06 ~ The Debut[edit]


The birth of an era. Hawks founder F/D took the mantles along with club legend Wally on their rollercoaster debut season in the Sweet FA, kicking off with a loss to the Bigfooty Bombers but salvaging their season to finish in sixth position and secure a chance in the finals series. The newborn club progressed far further than the punters expected, until the eventual Grand Finalists the Las Vegas Bears eventually eliminated them from the series. Their first recorded appearance in the league is found [1].


A relatively unceremonious awards night was held for the East Side faithful, with the best and fairest winner lost to this day and West Coast Eagles taking out his one and only club goalkicking award. The only major award the club received in Season 06 was their league license.

Season 07 ~ Building A Club[edit]


Expectations were not great when East Side entered their second season in the league, so the fact that they sat last for the majority of the season did not shock many. However, in Wally's first full season as sole captain of the Hawks, they decided that they were more Houdini than Tambling and blazed into 5th position at the conclusion of the season, powering their way despite the odds to a semi-final match up at the Tiger Dungeon against the Furies for a berth in the Grand Final. Stage nerves? Perhaps, as the Hawks stumbled to an honourable loss against the minor premiers. It was a monumental effort from a young club to make it so far, and a season which should be looked back upon with fondness.


With twelve clubs in the league, there was a lot of teams for the major awards to be shared upon; unfortunately, East Side did not make the cut in any of these. The best and fairest for the club is lost in time, as are all the others between S06-S09, but we can divulge from records that the clubs leading goalkicker was YOTC with 42 majors.

Season 08 ~ The Maiden Grand Final[edit]


East Side's third season in the league was their most successful to date, with Wally leading his relatively new club to only six losses from their 21 games and thus their inaugural minor premiership (one of many to come). An exciting and controversial finals series resulted in the top two teams making the Grand Final, as the Fighting Furies played off against the East Side Hawks; the Furies gunning for their second premiership and East Side clamouring for their first. As it turns out, the experience of the Tigers-affiliated Furries won out, as the Hawks went down by 21 points.

A superb rise for the Hawks could not quite be capped off, and spearheads like Wally and YOTC pledged that in Season 09, their club would take the next step.


YOTC won his first of two AlfAndrews Medals and his second of five club goalkicking awards, slotting 71 through the big sticks in a dominant side. As a club, the Hawks took home the minor premiership, whilst the club best and fairest has been lost in time, like all others between S06-S09.

Season 09 ~ So Close, Yet So Far[edit]


Coming off a heartbreaking Grand Final loss to the Fighting Furies in S08, the Wally-led Hawks were determined to take that step further in S09. The scrapping of a pre-season competition caught the Hawks off-guard, but they regrouped like any professional side does and came out victor in fourteen of their eighteen games to comprehensively take pole position and one of multiple minor premierships in their history. It had all gone to plan so far.

Fighting through the finals series, there were only to be two who would make it to the big stage. East Side confirmed their status as a league powerhouse by being one of these two teams, along with the doggiesin08-led Baghdad Bombers, who were in their first ever season under that moniker. The metaphorical rear-view mirror shows us that the GF loss the previous season had an immeasurable impact on the Hawks core group of players; some silly clangers combined with sloppy defence meant East Side suffered a demoralising 6-goal loss and their second successive season as bridesmaids.


The AlfAndrews Medal came home to Waverley, with power forward YOTC slotting 51 home-and-away goals to secure the award. Captain Wally also won a major award, with the GF BOG awarded to him, acting as some condolence to the heartbreaking loss. The Hawks best and fairest winners from S06-S09 have been lost in time, but it is known that YOTC was awarded the clubs leading goalkicker award alongside his AlfAndrews Medal.

Season 10 ~ The Winds of Change[edit]


Season 10 was a transition season for the entire league, with a new admin and number of teams; it was no different for the Hawks, who transitioned the captaincy baton from Wally to Biggie and set an aim for a spot in the revised Top 5 finals system. Unfortunately, penalty points ravaged East Side's season, finishing with a record which suggested a 3rd placing but were relegated to 5th. In the end, the Hawks were just not quite good enough, losing the battle for that long-desired pennant which ended up heading to Punt Road.


A wholly unremarkable season for East Side resulted in no league-wide recognition, with the Sweet FA major awards all heading to different clubs in Season 10. Within the club however, Boncer's Castle held an awards night worth remembering, with Bonce himself being awarded the Wally Medal for East Side's best and fairest. Spearhead YOTC won his fourth club goalkicking award in his third 50+ goal season.

Season 11 ~ Building a Powerhouse[edit]


One of the tighter seasons in Sweet FA history, S11 goes down as Biggie's first full season in sole control of the East Side juggernaut. The disbanding of the Mod Squad secured multiple important signings for a side seeking their first premiership, and some early victories suggested the Hawks were on the rise. The Hawks concluded the season sitting in third place, with 12 wins from 21 games but astoundingly a sub-100 percentage.

The media hounded the club, suggesting this sort of win-loss ratio/percentage discrepancy proved the club was simply an S11 pretender, and indeed the 4th-placed Fighting Furies ended up taking the premiership with the Hawks failing to make the big dance. It was a building season for East Side, an improvement on Season 10 and an experience that proved the foundation for their premiership breakthrough the next season.


Hosted at Biggie's mansion, the ESH Awards Night was not dissimilar at all to the awards night of the season before. boncer34 came out victor in the Wally Medal count for the Hawks best and fairest player for the second consecutive season, whilst with 48 goals YOTC managed to win an unprecedented fifth consecutive Hawks goalkicking award.

In the league as a whole, there was really only one major award won by a Hawk; future Sweet FA Immortal was the victor of the league best and fairest.

Season 12 ~ The Premiership Season[edit]


The halcyon days of the East Side FFC. After playing runners up twice before in their history it was the season that the green and gold finally broke through for a long-awaited first premiership, and one that to this day remains their only premiership.

A remarkably dominant Hawks outfit led by Biggie romped their way through an outstanding home and away season, conceding two losses on their way to one of the more comprehensive minor premierships in Sweet FA history. The finals series arrived and the Hawks didn't miss a beat, gliding through to an exciting Grand Final match-up against long-term rivals the Wonders. 18.16.124 to 14.14.98 read the final scoreline as the Hawks celebrated their first ever premiership win. It leaves Showbag, Wally, larrikin Tarkyn_24, Frankston Rover and boncer34 as the only Hawks premiership players still in the league to this day. In larrikin and Tarks the Hawks were also able to secure the Mobbs Medal and Alfie respectively in a season East Side will always dream of emulating.


Um, the premiership? Aside from the magnificently obvious, the Hawks also secured the Mobbs Medal, with ruckman larrikin's salutation meaning it was the 2nd of 3 years in a row the Hawks would secure the Medal. Tarkyn_24 slotted fifty-seven goals to be the Hawks first ever Alfie winner whilst larrikin also took home a Deestroy Medal for BOG in the Grand Final. The TFLUA-Tiger awardee was another Hawk; future captain boncer34 to be precise.

Club-wise, it was unsurprising; Mobbs medallist larrikin assumed the mantle as Hawks B&F whilst Alfie winner Tarkyn_24 obviously took out the club goalkicking award.

Season 13 ~ Premiership Hangover[edit]


The reigning premiers were down on activity but high on spirits from their S12 premiership breakhrough and S13 pre-season premiership. Too high on spirits? Perhaps, as the Hawks experienced a serious premiership hangover with some losses exacerbated by penalties for incorrect team submissions. Captain Biggie had a task ahead of him to revitalise his side, and he was successful, leading East Side to a 3rd-placed finish at the conclusion of the home and away season.

Players such as Wally, Biggie and Boncer combined to lead the Hawks through a finals series which peaked at a destruction of Roys FFC and concluded on Grand Final Day in a disappointing loss to the West Coast Wonders, the very same team which conquered East Side in the pre season Grand Final. Elements of this rivalry still exist to the current season. Season 13 was Biggie's fourth and final season in charge of East Side.


Outgoing captain Biggie equalled former captain Wally's vote tally to share the best and fairest award between the two Hawks legends. Full forward Tarkyn_24 secured his second consecutive club goalkicking award in the process. Legendary ruckman larrikin scooped the Mobbs Medal for league best and fairest despite failing to finish in the top two in his club best and fairest, an odd occurrence to say the least. The Hawks as a club secured runners up in both the preseason tournament and official season tournament.

Incredibly, the Hawks also secured their second consecutive TFLUA-Tiger medal (Biggie), the Deestroy medal for GF BOG (Mr Eagle), and even a Hall of Fame inclusion boncer34. As an aside, boncer would go on to gain Immortal status in the Sweet FA HOF.

Season 14 ~ Rock Bottom[edit]


S14 saw the Hawks take out the wooden spoon after losing the battle for the spoon match versus The Gorillas. It was a dramatic fall from grace for the premiers of two seasons ago.

Finishing with 6 wins from 17 games, it is generally accepted to be the Hawks least successful season on-field in living memory, taking out no major awards outside the wooden spoon. S14 Captains boncer34 and Tarkyn_24 are said to have taken the lack of success quite hard, with the incumbent Itsmyshow immediately taking the reigns for Season 15.

At the conclusion of the season, an upgrade to Waverley Oval was completed, with the Southern Stand heightened in a way which displayed the Season 12 flag in high visibility. Crowds gathered from all the land, in what some consider to be a kickstarter to the Hawks return to relative success in two seasons time (taking out the Season 16 minor premiership.)


Dual Mobbenfuhrer Medallist and star ruckman larrikin took home the best and fairest award, whilst recruit and gun forward pocket Matt121 pinched the goalkicking award in what was considered an upset to most.

Season 15 ~ The Midst of a Rebuild[edit]


In a fashion quite unlike the East Side of old, the Hawks failed to qualify for the finals for the second consecutive season. Debut captain Itsmyshow took positive steps to remedy this, recruiting disgruntled Dragon RoaringUniLions, stats machine akkaps and future vice captain Karnezis_13. The season began well, with the Hawks recording a strong win over the Southern Dragons in Round One, before losing four consecutive matches. In the midst of this lull, Biggie celebrated his 150th match with a loss. Round 8 saw the Dragons flip the tables, scoring an exciting 2 point win at Dragon Island, much to the chagrin of East Side veterans. Mature age players in the ilk of TRAWP had had enough and the club held an honesty-based meeting outside Boncer's Castle which resulted in East Side scoring 4 wins from their next 6 games and reigniting a slight finals flame. This was promptly extinguished by, ironically, the Southern Dragons again, and the Hawks season amounted to very little, avoiding the wooden spoon which was granted to perennial strugglers the Geelong Gumbies.


The awards night was quite a spectacle, with the well dressed club legend larrikin taking out the Wally Medal for the Club B&F for the second consecutive season. HARPSichord ran second in a tightly-fought count, whilst Matt121 silenced the doubters with his second club goalkicking medal. Club legend Wally was inducted into the Hall of Fame whilst the maligned Jobe3votes won the league's Frankston Rover medal.

Season 16 ~ Unfulfilled Dominance[edit]


Disappointed with the clubs last two seasons, the leadership group brought the club together early for pre-season training and history shows it worked. Despite losing posters such as Snappy!, akkaps, Jobe3votes and Biggie to reasons ranging from expansion to retirement, East Side knocked off reigning Grand Finalists the Furies and pre-season premiers the Bombres on their way to equal pole position two rounds in.

At 6-1 going into Round 7, the Hawks led the league and were unbackable favourites to take the premiership flag. A dispiriting loss to the returning Swampies was reassured by a win over the reigning premiers WCW, and by the end of the season East Side were in unstoppable form, scoring over 300 points in their final fortnight of the home and away season to take out the minor premiership and earn themselves an unprecedented triple chance in the finals series.

It wasn't enough though, as the Hawks finally dropped out of the finals in Week 4 (Prelim finals) as eventual premiers the Geelong Gumbies ploughed on to their very first pennant.

It would end up being a strong off-season for the Hawks though, who signed numerous new players from GutsyBug to Rendered Unsafe in their attempt to go those two steps further in S17.


Club captain Itsmyshow hosted the club best and fairest yet again, as the newly-crowned VC Mr Eagle was ecstatic to take home his very first Wally Medal as the East Side B&F. Tarkyn_24 achieved a season of full forward domination which netted him the Hawks goal kicking award to stand alongside his second AlfAndrews medal for booting the most goals in the league. Tarks also secured an honourable Hall of Fame nomination, becoming the second Hawk induction into the Hall of Fame. In the off-season, Karnezis_13 had the rare honour of co-captaining a premiership SoO side at the Allies. He may have also included this solely to gloat.

Season 17 ~ The Return to Power?[edit]

Currently at the mid season break of this season, the East Side Hawks hold a strong position, having bounced back from a 0-2 start to hold a 3-3 record and fourth place in the league. The upcoming match against Buller, who share a 3-3 record, at home is set to have a large bearing on how the season pans out for the revitalised Hawks. IMS is suiting up as captain for the third consecutive season, looking for his first premiership in the green and gold. GutsyBug is currently a chance at taking home the EKA Medal, whilst Mr Eagle is having another strong season which could see him take home a second club best and fairest.

Notable Figures of East Side History[edit]


The founder of this great club, without F/D we may not be here. The father of East Side managed almost 600 disposals in his 46 games and slotted 22 goals to boot. Despite eventually drifting into the wilderness, he will forever be the Qootyer who made us.


Most probably the figure who has most influenced the Hawks to who they are today. Captaining the side through its infancy and beyond (S06-S10), Wally was arguably the biggest name in the league of his time and still posts for East Side today. He recently broke through the 200-game barrier and has over 3300 disposals in his career. At the conclusion of S17 he will take the mantle of 15th in most SFA games ever played and he currently holds 5th position in most disposals ever. Nobody in the history of the Sweet FA has handled the Qooty more in the green and gold Hawks jumper than Wally, and for that we applaud him. Nobody in the history of the Sweet FA has laid more tackles than Wally, and for that we also applaud him. He is also in the Sweet FA Hall of Fame.


East Side's first true spearhead, YOTC secured two AlfAndrews Medals and five club goalkicking medals in his Hawks career, propelling himself to star status in the league at the time. 334 goals from 154 games is a decent haul and YOTC stands 5th in terms of most SFA goals scored, ever.


The second long-term captain the Hawks had, Biggie revolutionised the way the Hawks played. His brand of leadership sent the Hawks into a period of success, with multiple minor premierships and Grand Final appearances, finally culminating in his captaining the Hawks to their first and only premiership. Biggie spent S10-S13 in charge of East Side and won a Wally club best and fairest in S13. Eventually, Biggie retired with 164 games, the 6th-most Sweet FA disposals ever, the 5th-most Sweet FA tackles ever, and a reputation as one of the greatest Hawks ever to pull on the boots.


The man who did it all. With 220 Sweet FA games (though not all at the Hawks), the Hall of Famer and recently dubbed Sweet FA Immortal is the contemporary league admin and is not far from breaking into the Top 10 games played in Sweet FA history. Only one person has touched the Qooty in Sweet FA history more than boncer, who was a two-time club best and fairest and club captain. One who will forever be in the East Side record books.


Three club best and fairests, two league best and fairests, 191 games, almost 1400 hitouts (the fourth-most in Sweet FA history) and still going strong today. Most would argue larrikin is the most dominant ruckman the Sweet FA has ever seen, and he will surely one day become a Sweet FA Hall of Fame inductee. A true club legend.


Taking the reigns in S15, inspirational leader IMS still steers the cub to this day. An experienced campaigner and future Sweet FA Hall of Famer, the 150+ game superstar shows no signs of slowing down. Only 16 players in Sweet FA history has had more disposals than this man who likes to call the wing his home. His list of achievements continues to grow and by the time retirement catches up with this club legend there will be a spot alongside Wally and Biggie waiting for him in the wings.


Three club goalkicking awards translated into two Alfie medals for this outstandingly accurate long-term Hawks spearhead. Tarks has made full forward his own and has slotted over 300 goals in over 200 games in the league. At the conclusion of S17 Tarks will share 15th position in SFA games played, and currently holds 8th place in SFA goals kicked. He is the modern superboot of the SFA, and along with YOTC is a true Hawks full forward legend.

Current squad[edit]

East Side Hawks Squad
Full squad Leadership positions
  • Agent93

Vice captain

  • <vacant>

  • (c) Captain
  • (vc) Vice captain
  • (r) Rookie

Honour roll[edit]

Season Pos Captain(s) Best and Fairest Leading Goalkicker
S06 F/D & Wally West Coast (52)
S07 Wally YOTC (42)
S08 Wally YOTC (73)
S09 Wally YOTC (57)
S10 Wally & Biggie boncer34 YOTC (57)
S11 Biggie boncer34 YOTC (48)
S12 1st Biggie larrikin Tarkyn_24 (61)
S13 Biggie Biggie & Wally Tarkyn_24 (53)
S14 boncer34 & Tarkyn_24 larrikin Matt121 (26)
S15 Itsmyshow larrikin Matt121 (25)
S16 Itsmyshow Mr Eagle Tarkyn_24 (97)
S17 Itsmyshow Itsmyshow Tarkyn_24 (76)
S18 Karnezis_13 Itsmyshow Tarkyn_24 (48)
S19 Tarkyn_24 & Mr Eagle Okeydoke7 (56)
S20 Mr Eagle Okeydoke7 (61)
S21 Mr Eagle & Doctor Colossus The Filth Wizard (72)
S22 Mr Eagle & Doctor Colossus Mr Eagle & Doctor Colossus The Filth Wizard (55)
S23 Mr Eagle The Filth Wizard & Elton Johns Wig brahj (60)
S24 2nd The Filth Wizard brahj BRAB (76)
S25 4th Loonerty spookism BRAB (69)

Extra Links[edit]

Current Teams - Bears, Bombers, Demons, Dragons, Furies, Gorillas, Hawks, Royals, Swamprats, Warriors, Wolves, Wonders
Former Clubs - Mods, AFL, Dogs, Bears, Titans, Koalas, Razors, Dockers, Magic, Sharks, Blues, Shadows, Hurricanes, Dragons, Dingoes, Timmy